All creatures grunt and smell...

[charlie_cochrane]

7.25am today, the middle Cochrane daughter shouted down "There's a deer in the garden".

This is not an unusual occurence. The wretched things seem to treat the place as some cervine (is that a word?) version of MacDonalds, gorging themselves on my plants and leaving mess all over the lawn. Today's visitor was a magnificent roe deer stag. I knocked on the window and waved my arms. I shouted things like "Go away" and "Bugger off". He ignored me. In the end I had to go out the back door, shout and clap my hands. Either the noise or the sight of me in my dressing gown scared him off.

Middle Cochrane, looking offended, "You made the deer sad."

I'll make him into bloody venison sausages if he comes round here again...

Comments

[charliecochrane.livejournal.com]

Don't share him with anyone, lovey. Except Mr Tovey. (Bad rugby pun. Almost as bad as 'Don't show your figure to fly halves called Biggar'.)

I like venison, although it doesn't always like me...